Previouslys. Kay and Leontes decide to go recruit Gawain. Gawain reacts to this news by trying to behead Kay. Arthur lays his mack on Guinevere at the beach. Guinevere reacts, well, predictably. Morgan and Arthur talking about how his arrival was difficult for her. Arthur performing Guinevere and Leontes' wedding service. Morgan watching through witchcraft. Merlin and Morgan fighting about magic.
Credits.
Camelot from the outside. And then, on the inside, it looks like Mötley Crüe stayed there. Arthur wanders through the Great Hall, and picks up a flower … which leads him into a flashback of Leontes and Guinevere consummating their marriage. What, was he watching? It's one thing to deflower the bride immediately before her wedding, it's another thing entirely to supervise the consummation. And then he quickly flashes back on his own experience with her, which I have to say was likely to be infinitely more satisfying. He then calls for Brastias.
Brastias shows up, sleepy-eyed and still fiddling with the lacings on his armour, and asks Arthur, in short, what the hell he wants. Arthur wants to make up for his blue balls problem by taking it out on underlings, in a management style that has been absolutely true for centuries. Arthur informs him that Gawain starts training everyone that morning.
Leontes is busy playing with Guinevere's arm, trying to wake her up for a morning go, I expect. Instead, he greets her with a, "Good morning, wife." And she replies with a, "Good morning … husband." Either she's decided that her fling with Arthur is fine and over with, or she's trying to get used to the idea. And then he unknowingly twists the knife by saying, "I'm the only man who gets to see you like this." Well, sure, in the last 18 hours or so. She cuts the tension by kissing him. And then she reiterates Bridget's, her and Arthur's arguments by saying, "You're a good man. And when can we leave Camelot?" Leontes starts dissuading her and saying it's not going to happen, and she starts on a guilt trip, which ain't gonna work, and in fact, Brastias is yelling at the door for Leontes to haul ass out of there. Which he does.
Arthur is having a breakfast made up of leftovers from the wedding feast, while Igraine stares at him. I could tell him the breakfast is a bad idea before heavy-duty weapons practise, not that it matters because it's not like the show is going to show us Arthur puking his guts out. Merlin joins Igraine and brings her fruit and porridge, and wants to know why Igraine hasn't joined Arthur for breakfast. She answers simply, "I'm waiting to be invited." Guinevere, still wearing some of her wedding garb, goes and kisses Leontes goodbye for the morning, attracting Igraine's attention, which immediately shifts to Arthur, who immediately looks up at Leontes and Guinevere macking. We already know that Merlin knew what was going on, now Igraine definitely does, and in fact, they're both watching. Merlin lets Igraine know, "Perhaps a little guidance is needed."
Castle Pendragon. As usual, Morgan has shit-stirring on her mind, and Vivian trails behind her, and reminds her about "the gift". I wonder what she has in mind for Arthur, and then she says … "Perfect for a new bride!" So she really has a dagger in mind for Arthur. Vivian wisely asks, "Why are we paying such attention to the bride of the king's champion?" Morgan deflects this with, "I'm the king's sister. I should welcome every new arrival into Camelot." Yes, lest we forget how well you got along in those first few episodes, I'm pretty sure Igraine has the welcoming bit down. She starts going off on a proto-feminist rant and suddenly, Morgan starts to lose her physical composure. Vivian reminds her that Morgan's been in pain for two days and maybe this is not the best time to ride off, and Morgan snaps, "Are you a doctor or a servant?" Vivian takes the rebuke gracefully, as indeed she takes everything, and says that she'll see that everything's ready. Also, with this close shot, we can see that Morgan is not only wearing fur, but riding leathers that lace up the sleeve, which will play well with the devoted Eva Green fans out there.
Courtyard of Camelot. Gawain takes a look around and says, "I thought there'd be an army. The king's forces are this few?" Arthur says they're recruiting. Very successfully, too. There's now about 20 guys in the courtyard. Gawain wants to know what they're fighting for. Arthur says, "For freedom. Everyone's." Gawain points out, "I'm free already. I can do what I want." Well, not until Kay teaches you to read Greek. Arthur asks, "Then why are you here?" He glances at Leontes and Kay and says, "They told me you're worth following." Strangely, you didn't seem impressed by that earlier. Arthur tries a new answer. "Then, we're fighting for the people. For their freedom from chaos." Gawain starts openly snickering, and Kay snaps, "Give him a chance."
So, we go into fighting practise. Arthur is not bad, but Gawain has the skills that speak of a sell-sword who has had to survive based on fighting skill, and proceeds to kick Arthur's ass. Arthur's sword actually shatters during one of Gawain's disarms, and Merlin points out that Arthur will need a new sword, "One fit for a king." Gawain tells Merlin, "You know Caliburn? Best bladesmith I ever met. He'll make you something special." I certainly hope that Gawain is getting a kickback. Merlin asks for directions. Gawain says, "He's been holed up in the woods since his wife died." Wait, which woods? Gawain goes on, "You'll need to be careful. He's volatile." Merlin hilariously replies, "I don't mind volatile." Good, because pot calling kettle and all that. And then he takes Arthur away for "a word". Och, that's not good. I know what happens when people say, "A word with you". It's never good.
We cut to Merlin castigating Arthur by saying, "Whatever you feel for her, destroy it." Merlin pulls the without-me-you-have-no-future argument again and Arthur finally says, "You don't control my future." Merlin simply informs him it's his last warning, and to take up training hard.
This is a two-pronged attack, since Igraine comes up to Guinevere carrying linens and talks like a practised gossip, "I trust your wedding night was all you hoped for." Guinevere circumspectly answers, "I trust you'll understand if I prefer to keep it all private." Igraine giggles, "Absolutely. Discretion in all things." You know, Igraine, until three seconds ago, I'd say you actually understood that. Igraine informs Guinevere that she'll be coveted more than ever now that she's unavailable, and to pay any other men any attention would be the worst thing any woman could do. Given that Igraine married her rapist, I'm not entirely sure that she thinks this is the worst thing. And she adds, "I've known women's lives come undone that way." Then she offers help with linens.
Morgan is riding across the countryside, looking as if she were dragged at the heels of a horse most of the way. She says, "We'll take some water", which means that either she decides when everyone needs to drink or she's using the royal plural, which she hasn't done up until now. Vivian brings water, at which point Morgan empties her stomach. Vivian says that they need to go home, at which point Morgan starts saying, "I have to see this girl." Vivian points out that she's not well enough, and then Vivian countermands her order to keep on going with the statement, "Your well-being is my priority." True, without her alive, you're out of a job.
Next scene, Arthur walks up to Guinevere and offers a neutral "Hello." She answers with, "Your Highness." He's puzzled, and she says she thinks she has to do that. He pushes her into an alcove and wants to know what happens between them. She answers, "Nothing!" I know she was moaning "Just once" in a totally unconvincing way yesterday, but believe me, the day after her wedding is no time to approach a woman. And then he starts quizzing her on Leontes' sexual prowess. She rightly answers, "This isn't appropriate." Which it really isn't. She points out that it has nothing to do with him, and he brings up the whole it-meant-something, except now it's no longer his coronation, and instead it's on the beach. And she answers, "It didn't. If it had, do you think I could have married him?" Game, set and match to Guinevere. They exchange a few more heated words, but basically, she wins there.
Merlin rides across to a lake where he loses the path, and then finds a symbol on one of the rocks that shows a sword pointing the way. Well, that helps!
Morgan rides home and enters the gates to find a nun looking as forbidding as Sister Mary Stigmata from The Blues Brothers. And, oh, does she not look pleased. Morgan freaks at the sight of her, and starts yelling, "Get her out!" Even Vivian is taken aback, and says, "The nun?" You know, given that she spent 15 years in a nunnery, I'm just guessing this is someone from Morgan's past. In case that wasn't obvious.
As Morgan stalks through Castle Pendragon, she says that she doesn't want her within sight of the castle. Vivian offers to have the guards see to it. Morgan clarifies, "No, you see to it." And then Morgan starts barking at the fire for not being warm enough. Vivian appears in no discomfort, and offers to Morgan, yet again, that she should rest. Morgan explains that it's just a fever. This being a century in which people routinely die of fevers, I have to wonder what the hell Morgan's thinking, besides Morgan's usual thought, which is that she'll always win over everything. Vivian turns her over to some handmaidens and goes to deal with the nun.
Camelot. Gawain is pontificating about shields. He directs Kay to attack him. Kay gives a decent accounting of himself, until he gets a gash across the upper arm from Gawain's shield. Gawain explains that you surround a shield with blades and sharp ones, to double down on weapons. Kay complains that Gawain is a dirty fighter. Gawain echoes my thoughts by saying, "This is combat. Not cooking." Arthur starts bitching at him about this, and wants "an honourable instructor". Apparently Arthur hasn't gotten that fighting idealistically and with honour is a translation for dead. And Gawain starts on his free-form lecture, and says, "Oh, yes. Another thing? Always keep a dagger strapped to your shield for emergencies." And then he quickly throws an arm about Arthur and gets in position to slit his throat.
Gawain goes on, even as everyone is drawing their swords, is to not go into battle angry, and to take advantage of your opponent if they're falling for that. Kay wants Gawain to let go of his brother, Leontes claims that no one threatens the king, "neither in training nor in jest". Great. By not showing him how he can get his ass kicked, you're going to end up with a world-class wimp. Arthur throws off Gawain's arm. Gawain comments that at least Arthur's men stand up for him. You can tell that there's a subtext here, but it's hard to say exactly what.
Morgan awakens but looks like hell. She's chalk-white. She calls out to Vivian, "Bring me food! Lots of food! I'm starving." Well, given that we've seen Morgan naked and Guinevere naked, I think there's someone else that advice could go to. And, wow, she is eating like a pig. And Vivian is trying to explain that the nun is not going away. Vivian starts asking some very delicate questions about the nunnery, and finally goes to, "Did she treat you badly?" And Morgan throws a plate for her trouble. All right! I think we hit a nerve. And she starts yowling for more bread, just as Vivian gets creeped out by Morgan bleeding from the eyes. It's actually not as horrific as it sounds — it's creeping down like mascara running, rather than coming straight from her lacrimal ducts, but it's still pretty damn creepy. And there's blood coming down her nose, too. And Vivian is officially creeped out beyond belief as she whispers, "What do I do?"
What she does is goes and gets Sister Mary Stigmata, who gives Vivian one of those smiles so afeared by those of us educated in Catholic schools — devout, caring and clearly ready to kick your ass. Congratulations, Sinéad Cusack. You just made me paranoid about my cursive and long division skills for the first time in twenty years.
Merlin is stalking through the forest. God only knows where he's left his horse. And here he finds … a man wearing a calf-length wrap-around skirt and leather boots while soaping himself. You know, I said Uther looked like Meatpacking District potential, but frankly, I'm seeing homoeroticism potential everywhere. (And please, for the sake of all that is holy, if you yourself are writing or reading fanfic, don't tell me.)
Merlin informs this guy, once he gets aware enough to turn around, that Gawain sent him. Caliburn asks, "For you?" Merlin shakes his head, and Caliburn then draws a sword himself and says, "You'd better leave, before I slit you from arsehole to cakehole." I'm guessing Caliburn doesn't worry a lot about his customer service skills.
Merlin goes on to explain that the sword is for the king. Caliburn says, "The new king?" Apparently, Merlin's P.R. campaign is taking hold. And then he informs Merlin that he'll get a sword for the new king when the new king gets it himself, and hisses, "I'm a master bladesmith." He then goes on about a rant about professionalism in his industry, and actually brings up some good points about picking a sword — he needs to know his weight, his swing, how he fights. I do think the, "What's in his blood?" is probably not the sort of thing that you'd see as a general question on the customer service level, although I'll be looking for it next time I'm expected to pick a security question for a credit card. Merlin creepily replies, "I can tell you everything you need to know." Caliburn half-whispers, "You're that close to him?" Slashers/shippers, for the love of God, don't e-mail me.
While Merlin strolls around to browse around Caliburn's forge, Caliburn asks who he is, and he informs him that his name is Merlin. Caliburn is dumbfounded to hear that the king sent a sorcerer for a sword. And then he offers, "Come inside, let me show you my magic." I meant it for the love of God, don't e-mail me!
Sister Mary Stigmata strides through Castle Pendragon. With the brisk efficiency of nuns everywhere, she orders everyone in the household back to their rooms, all doors barred and so on and so forth until Vivian manages to get in edgewise, "Why?" And with the helpfulness of nuns throughout the ages, she says, "Because I told you." She then goes over to Morgan, who's doing a nice little death rattle, and starts ministering to her, and throws Vivian out even more forcefully.
And, having been at the hands of nursing nuns as well as school nuns, she continues to fulfil the stereotype to the T by informing Morgan that she looks terrible, and then asking, "Have you vomited?" to which Morgan gives a weak nod. She informs her that she's going to walk now. Morgan looks half-dead, and Sister Mary Stigmata informs her, "You know what walking is! Walk!" And then, after a few more discussions of how Morgan is basically at fault for all of her physical woes, she asks, "Since you left us, have you performed a summoning?" Well, none of the sisters that schooled me would ask that. However, there's a bit more back and forth and she stays more or less in nun mode by explaining to Morgan that she would not be in this kind of agony if she wasn't so arrogant. She explains that Morgan has another lesson — to learn how to die. Oh, I don't think Morgan's going to like that one.
Back to the Forge o' Caliburn. Caliburn is listing off Arthur's attributes. "He's tall, but he's not strong. And when he fights, he's passionate but too impulsive. Needs to be weighted down more." Merlin allows, "You could be right." Caliburn replies, "I know I'm right." Then Caliburn goes on to this tangent about his own days as a warrior. "Some nights, when the wind rages, I still get the smell of blood in my nostrils." What, like he's Al Pacino in Scarface? Then, he goes onto a metallurgy nerd tangent. This guy is definitely multi-talented in his interests. Apparently, this sword is made from an ingot of Damascene steel found on the Coromandel shores … which, based on some basic Googling, means that he imports steel from the Byzantine Empire that then transports itself to a beach in India. Don't ask me.
Caliburn starts quizzing Merlin on what his power feels like, which is apparently "like an extra emotion". Caliburn wants to know why he doesn't use it, and takes it a step further than everyone else. "Unless you're scared … no, it's more than that. It's because you enjoy it."
And in one of our rare views of Merlin actually using his power, he wanders off and induces the small campfire into a raging flame, and some girl (Lauren Coe) wanders up and asks what he's doing. Merlin freaks out and holds a blade to the girl's throat, and that induces Caliburn to bark at him to take that knife away from his daughter. And she is named … Excalibur. Seriously. Yeah. She is. Merlin says that she's beautiful. In the morning, they have a deal — stay with us, eat with us, and then leave in the morning with your sword. OK.
Scene change, finally. Arthur is kneeling by something, whether in prayer or in thought is up to you. Gawain is whittling something and advising Arthur that warriors need their sleep, and kings even more than that. Arthur then starts quizzing Gawain on tactics, of which Gawain disavows any knowledge. They then get into this personality-forming dialogue in which Arthur asks when he should give up in a battle and realise the better man won, and Gawain explains that a warrior never gives up, as long as he believes in the cause. Gawain intelligently points out that when you have nothing to lose, you can risk everything.
And, on to Castle Pendragon. Sister Mary Stigmata is nursing Morgan, who looks like she's having a seizure. After the nun bullies her into yelling what she wants rather than whimpering, she leaves in time for Morgan to have a full-on hallucination sequence with the mirrors in the room, with both Uther and Lot mocking her. Morgan then passes out, and the nun comes back, freaked out.
Merlin is having one of those clairvoyant dreams. And in it, Arthur gets his new sword … and gets stabbed with it by Caliburn? What the hell? Morgan wakes up, not happy at all. At least Caliburn, when we see him, is wearing clothes, although he's got a do-rag on for some reason. Caliburn finishes the sword, which does look awesome, and then says he'll present it to the king himself. OK, now I get why Merlin was having that dream. And then Caliburn and Merlin start fighting, which is pretty even up until Merlin uses his powers to bring up the fire and roast Caliburn alive.
Excalibur shows up, freaking out, understandably, as she's now a full orphan, although Merlin tries to claim that it was all an accident. She runs through the forest, through a grassy area, and to a canoe, where she starts rowing for all she's worth, saying that the sword that Merlin killed her father over (which is, after all, more or less accurate) will now live in the bottom of the lake. Merlin tries to reason with her, but as she gets further and further from the shore, he starts muttering guttural syllables. which causes a layer of ice to form on the lake, so he starts walking on the ice toward the hysterical 12-year-old. Who promptly overbalances herself while holding the sword and falls into the lake, which is now almost completely iced over.
And here we get the visual — Excalibur's frozen hand holding up the sword while she tries to keep herself from drowning. Merlin starts frantically hammering at the ice, but can't break his way through before Excalibur herself drowns.
Back to Castle Pendragon, where Sister Mary Stigmata is sponging off an unconscious Morgan, to look up and see Fausse Morgan, which freaks her out. Then she looks up again and sees Igraine, asking, "Who are you?" She gets distracted by Morgan waking up.
Next scene, we see Morgan comfortably dressed in a gown with no blood on it, in her bed. She asks the nun why she didn't die, and then answers herself, "Because I'm strong." Which, hubris being what it is, means that she immediately starts her convulsions meaning that something is up. After she finishes twisting around, Sister Mary Stigmata is freaked out and leads Morgan to a mirror, where she learns that she's turned into Igraine. She starts flipping out over this. She says that Igraine is feeling pain.
And, to Camelot. Igraine passes by Arthur, and then, turning to him, says, "There will be another one for you. Guinevere, I mean." She explains that he should look somewhere else. He asks, "Is that what you told my father?" And she slaps him a good one for that, as indeed he deserves. She starts ranting about people being destroyed and lives wasted because Uther would not let his lusts be denied. Which, fair point. And she takes a principled stand that she would not allow that to happen again.
Arthur shows up at the courtyard full of piss and vinegar, and starts talking about killing with mercy, and that they fight for peace. Gawain points out that's a contradiction in terms. Arthur says, "Train for battle, practise peace." Well, I hope that he intends to continue training, because not everyone's going to go for that. "Combat is the means by which we achieve other things — honour, protection, justice. It is not an end in itself!" Gawain, unmoved by this monologue, asks, "Is that it?" Which, of course, it's not. Guinevere and Igraine are watching as Arthur begins sparring with Leontes — sparring in such a way that I have to wonder if Arthur has a training "accident" in mind for Leontes. Arthur gets the upper hand, and then loses it, and once they're frozen in place, with a sword-point to Arthur's throat, he alludes to his earlier conversation with Gawain. "Understand when you've been beaten by a better man." Bridget and Guinevere are watching from the balcony, and Guinevere mostly looks disappointed in this.
And then Arthur trips Leontes from behind and says, "But never give in" with his dagger to Leontes' throat. "Even if it feels like you've lost everything. And if you have to fight dirty to protect your cause … then so be it." Connected immediately with a stare up to the balcony at Guinevere. I don't think she likes this.
Gawain starts a golf clap and says, "Now this is a king I can do business with!" Arthur leaves, and Guinevere runs off. They meet up in a hallway and Guinevere informs him to stop what he's doing. He pretends to be innocent. She points out that she has a duty to Leontes, and Arthur has a duty to his people. He offers to stop "if you look at me in the eye and say it". He turns to leave and she says in the most unconvinced voice ever, "I'm happy and I have what I want." Arthur says it's finished. Uh-huh.
We come up on that particularly rural Garden State Turnpike rest stop, where Merlin has his forehead against the sword's pommel-nut, and is thinking. A couple of conveniently located peasants say, "Long live the king!" and "I'll drink to that." and Merlin's crisis of conscience seems mostly over. And then he picks a fight with the guys who were just toasting Arthur, which is … well, what the hell, Merlin? Some sort of self-punishing thing, or what? Can't you just pick a bar fight with someone else?
Castle Pendragon. Sister Mary Stigmata is holding what appears to be trail mix in her hands, and Morgan grabs a morsel and eats it, and then asks, "So, why did you come?" The nun replies, "The nunnery burnt. We were attacked. I'm the only survivor." She thinks for a moment and says, "I'm alone. It frightens me. I was drawn here. Just when you needed me."
Because Morgan's Morgan, even though this lady spent most of the episode reviving her from the near dead, she retorts, "I don't need you." Sister ignores this just the way she should, "You left us to get the crown. You don't have it yet." Morgan grins and calls out to Vivian. "Make up a bed for this woman. As far from my chambers as you can find." Vivian stares at the nun, clearly wondering what to make of her, as would I.
Camelot. Merlin enters the courtyard where Arthur's sulking, and immediately Arthur starts asking about why Merlin's bruised. Leontes, Arthur and Kay all enthuse over its beauty (it is a nice looking piece of steel), and Gawain offers that it needs a name. Merlin quietly says that it already has a name. Gawain asks if it was from Caliburn, and Merlin revises events by saying, "When I got there, he was dead." Well, when you left there, he was dead. Just messing with the time frame a little.
Then Merlin begins the line of bullshit that we all know. "I rode many miles, until I came to a lake, and everywhere, there was a mist. I had to stop. And when I did, out of the mist, a woman called to me, like a Siren. From within the lake, she stretched out her arm, clutching this sword. I took the sword, and thanked her. She smiled and slipped back into the water, and as she did, she said, 'This is the sword of King Arthur. This is Excalibur.'"
And we close, on a final shot of Excalibur, the girl, drowned in part out of her own folly and in part out of Merlin's inability to control himself.
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